thoodleoo:

booty shorts that say “for ritual purposes” on them

(via cloudbeam)

internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

(via thebootydiaries)

trisarahbottoms:

*puts on eyeliner over yesterday’s eyeliner smudges* smoky eye

(via thebootydiaries)

soft-communism:
“norebirth:
“ me gettin up for work
”
❤☮☭folloш foя мoяе soft сoммцпisм☭☮❤
”

ethan-lawson-wate:

justabitunlikely:

so who do I get in touch with about marrying obama’s speechwriter

image

image

(via thebootydiaries)